Elite Swedish Atari, a slot machine begging for money from the owner, huge buttons, Jedi swords and other entertainment for respectable gentlemen.
A long time ago, in the distant 20th century, there were pixel wars. Humanity did not immediately realize the full scale of the threat, and only when children began to spend all their pocket money on some new entertainment in cinemas and clubs, parents began to worry. They came to entertainment centers to challenge a new source of expense – His Majesty the Pixel, but each time the inevitable happened. Fascinated by the new wondrous electronic universe, they themselves became its loyal servants, bought the first game consoles at home, and it was often possible to see a picture when the father did not let the child play because he wanted to (but this is inaccurate =)). Unhappy wives went to a neighbor to discuss with her an unexpected misfortune over a glass of port (there used to be good port) in the kitchen, and this is how female alcoholism appeared. Something like this could develop events if the entire population of planet Earth were easily suggested biorobots, and it's good that this is not so.
And yet, each of us, somewhere deep in our souls, has a feeling of dissatisfaction received during the appearance of the first gaming machines. This feeling is akin to self-flagellation, when we morally beat ourselves up for an unfinished business. Let me give you an example, there was such a device 'Television game machine' Magistral ''.
Having spent 15 kopecks (the cost of a full breakfast in those days), one could try to get somewhere without accidents. Nobody knew exactly where to go and what would happen next, because nobody succeeded. Everything in this device was perfect – both the sounds and the vibration of the steering wheel, although, perhaps, it was a boy's heart pounding. Over the years, this desire to 'drive' sometimes arises spontaneously when looking at similar pixels. Of course, one could go to the museum of Soviet slot machines, there are such machines in large cities (in Moscow and St. Petersburg for sure), but from the outside it would look a little strange: a solid man – and suddenly plays with children's toys.
For a long time, our Chinese comrades caught this secret desire of all progressive humanity and filled the market with replicas of old gaming devices of different quality and appearance. But they did not take into account the main thing, the boys from the end of the 20th century have long grown up and have become, I repeat, respectable gentlemen, they are no longer satisfied with the flimsy plastic of modern crafts. Moreover, they want to get a similar experience, as if they were hitting the huge buttons of antique automatic machines and consoles with their hands. An interesting portrait of the consumer turns out, isn't it?
CHILONG Pandora Box 5
Let's honestly admit that during friendly gatherings or immediately after celebrating an anniversary, an almost real slot machine will entertain guests no worse than the unbridled dance of yesterday's shy guy. International online stores offer ready-made slot machines, often adding the word 'cocktail' to the product card, as if hinting at the special conditions of its use. And as a temporary activity for kids running around the table and stopping adults from licking caviar from sandwiches, slot machines are also great.
Alas, due to the large weight of full-fledged club units (more than 100 kg), delivery to our country for reasonable money is impossible. And if it did, then, by analogy with delivery to the United States, I would have to add another 2,500 dollars for delivery to the conditional $ 500 for the product itself. The solution may be to buy a smaller copy, such as Pandora Box 5:
The gaming experience on a 12-inch screen will definitely be brighter than that of a smartphone, and the joystick and large buttons will return the player to childhood and, possibly, cause a tear of emotion. Some intrigue is added by the fact of the presence of 3D games, which is rarely seen in the Chinese arcade industry.
I believe that due to some, let's say, problems with royalties, the seller does not publish a detailed list of games, offering to apply for the list in a personal. The screen resolution is not specified either, but in this case it does not matter. All old games were designed for an ordinary Western TV, which means that any screen with a resolution equal to or greater than 720×480 pixels is suitable for a slot machine. And to require a FullHD panel for Tekken 2 is simply strange, the old game program will not give birth to new pixels by itself.
It is a special pleasure that this particular model is equipped with a coin receiver, which means that everything will be 'like for real'. But what can I say, this modification (there are others) is intended for installation in cafes, but if you buy it at home, then no one bothers to tie a string to a coin and play endlessly in all the built-in 960 games. ?
8Bitdo N30 Arcade Stick Controller
You can get a childish feeling from the game simply by controlling the process with the help of large oak buttons. By the way, in general, any object larger than everyone is accustomed to can cause such sensations. And if the apartment does not have a place to install a full-fledged gaming machine, then a time-tested scheme will come to the rescue – a kind of gaming device, a large TV and a huge game pad. This is the 8Bitdo N30 Arcade Stick Controller:
The connection is via a USB cable or Bluetooth, the list of supported devices is also not bad, it is any modern Windows, Mac OS, Android and Nintendo Switch . Nintendo Switch support seems insane – a game console with a smaller screen than a joystick. On the other hand, it can be hidden behind the TV to which it is connected. According to the manufacturer, all buttons can be reassigned.
In Asian online stores, the item costs about 5,200 rubles, delivery is free.
A solid slot machine for respectable gentlemen (Pelevin, I'm sorry)
In this section, friends, I want to introduce you to the objects of art of the Swedish artist Love Hulten. As it is written on his website (where I could not go without Tor-a), he is trying to combine game consoles and classic art.
The portrait of a potential buyer of this gadget looks like this:
This is a middle-aged or elderly man who has achieved everything himself and is ready to spend money on a nostalgic trinket that would remind him of a poor childhood. So that, sitting in an armchair upholstered in crocodile skin, and putting his feet on an ottoman made of a living panda, tell his offspring: 'There was not always enough money for fresh milk, bad cheap food, one joy is slot machines that helped to forget, carried away and so Further'. And then he would put this on his knees:
Each specific product of Mr. Hulten's K-KAID-R is unique, it is made by hand (everything except electronics), has its own colors and design materials. This is also related to the small number of units in each batch – only 50 pieces. Don't worry, the artist didn't forget to add the 'Limited Edition' lettering, which means it's available for $ 2,799.
The stationary slot machine is intended to repeat the success of the ancient game consoles based on the famous Atari (pictured below), and for this the artist did everything. A modern computer inside the box operates in the mode of the MAME or JAMMA emulator, at the buyer's choice, which means access to more than 10,000 old games from chain stores.
Pong cabinet (1972) and OriginX cabinet (2018)
Two gaming spots add fun, and metal controls and a solid case prevent players from breaking the machine ahead of time. For immersion in the atmosphere of 1972, there is a setting LCD – a monitor for old CRTs, a kind of pleasant tube blurring and distortion. The addition of new games can be carried out through a USB flash drive, which is very important in our country, because Russified games are not so easy to find in official retail. The entire set will cost the buyer $ 3,799.
The last and most expensive work of authorship is a variant of the OriginX machine, which the artist placed in a full-size case, called Pixelkabinett 42 and offers for 4,299 USD.
There is nothing more interesting to say about him.
Briefly about creativity – all these works of art are easily done on the knee, but if a wealthy gentleman starts looking for an elite gaming Atari, he will inevitably come to Love Hulten, because there are no analogues.
And I also suddenly remembered the Ikea retail chain, the strange names and approach to the manufacture of furniture with screw heads sticking out. Apparently, the Swedish design style exists as a separate species, and can be found in many products.
The sad part about Nanoarcade
We are smoothly moving towards our time, and the next in line are not so long-standing events. Think of the focused faces of people who played push-button telephones in the second half of the 2000s. These faces could be found everywhere, in transport and in the bathroom, at work and at the institute, at home and not at home. Alas, all attempts to make a slot machine based on at least Java MIDP 2.0 have so far been unsuccessful. And the copyright holders of these games have always been a hindrance. From time to time, the idea is implemented on Kickstarter.com, and even commercial samples appear on Ali Express, but they disappear just as quickly. Typically this elusive gadget looks like this:
It is distinguished from very similar gadgets with Dandy inside by a vertical screen, the same as in our old phones. Agree, if you look at the device as a structure, then there is nothing revolutionary in it. If you have straight arms and a clear head, it is quite possible to print the case on a 3D printer, attach a joystick and buttons from a cheap set-top box to it, solder them to the keyboard cable of a regular Sony-Ericsson K790i or W910i, which will be fixed inside the case. Even the upper part of the case does not need to be removed from it. Perhaps Max Lubin will be interested in this idea, and then we will see the device with our own eyes. At the moment, it is unrealistic to buy a Java slot machine, they are not on sale. And to possible remarks like “what is he for gentlemen” I will immediately answer: Java gentlemen have not yet grown up, like their slot machine, too little time has passed.
The Hilarious Star Wars Part – Star Wars Lightsaber Thumb Wrestling
Modern children who have not yet grown up to play consoles, but are already consciously watching the movie Star Wars (which has become a childish one, something like Luntik), will surely be delighted with a gadget that allows you to arrange a duel with Jedi swords. And let the swords be plastic, but the desire to win is real!
And here the puncture of the modern gaming industry becomes obvious, expressed in the absence of consumables for contact games that are included in the kit or as a separate product. How sweet is a victory for a child if there is no trophy left after it? Here is an example – the ubiquitous school game of 'stamps', 'shaking' (banned in the Russian Federation), 'inserts', in any competitive processes with the award of an award. All of them temper the character of a young man, give him an incentive for improvement and the will to win. Therefore, if you follow the link to 'Amazon' (above), then you will not be surprised by the large number of game set returns. People quickly play around and hand over the toy back, while if there were spare swords in the kit, and they, as a bet, could be played, they could be collected, and the toy would have lived a very long time.
Alas, today's gaming industry has become too toothless, too sluggish and tolerant, and this applies to games of any type. Perhaps that is why respectable gentlemen are drawn to old games, what do you think?