You know, sometimes there are some fleeting thoughts and observations that are interesting in themselves, but not sufficient for a full article. Personally, I scrupulously put them in smartphone notes, and then take the general ones on the topic and arrange them in a separate text, like this time.
Below I propose to read three stories that somehow happened to me, and discuss them in the context of changing modern etiquette and norms of behavior.
Story # 1
An interesting story happened to me a couple of months ago. We met with a friend in a cafe, talked calmly, drank coffee, recalled the past, in general, nothing foreshadowed trouble. And then the girl at the next table opens the tablet, puts it on the table and starts watching the series through the speakers. I am a very irritable person to external noises, after a few minutes I approached her and began to communicate:
– Hello, could you please put on some headphones?
– I don't have headphones.
– Then please turn off the sound.
– And why?
– You're in the way.
– Well, you communicate, I hear your voices, consider that I also communicate.
– Audacity second happiness.
Fortunately, we were already planning to leave, so I didn't have much negative from this story. To be honest, I was rather surprised and puzzled. The girl's argumentation was impeccable, I could not find any counterarguments to her position either straight away or in a few days. From the point of view of cold logic, she was absolutely right, both from our conversation and from her tablet the same noise was coming, and if we can talk, then why can't she listen to a series or podcast at the same volume? Perhaps the only difference is that she has a choice between headphones and speakers and her lack of choice during a live conversation, but does this make her position more precarious? I do not know.
Story number 2
I am returning home from work, I am driving a full minibus, the headphones are left at home, I just forgot to put them in my pocket before the trip. I observe the people around, I see that the girl is recruiting someone and begins to tell how she is doing. My ride from the metro to my home takes 15 minutes. The girl's conversation is heard by the entire minibus salon, from which it becomes clear that she is not discussing anything urgent, just some kind of routine and everyday life. Apparently, the whole call was just to pass the time. This time I myself thought that, in general, she could just talk with her friend live, and not on the phone, so I kept silent. But the feeling that this situation was wrong did not leave me.
Story number 3
We are sitting with friends in another cafe, and one girl constantly receives messages on her phone. After half an hour, it is clear that she spends more time on the phone than participates in communication. One of the friends makes a couple of polite remarks, the friend finally puts the phone away, but for all the time of communication, her hand reaches out to him.
By the way, I often observe a similar situation on trips. Sometimes it is more interesting for colleagues to communicate with their smartphone than with other people, while not saying that they are doing something important there: ordinary Facebook and Instagram. Things that don't need urgency. They do not require, but for some reason they are very high priority for some.
By the way, the same applies to photography. I often feel embarrassed on work trips, because I don't have an itchy desire to take pictures and upload pictures from trips to Instagram, I just have to enjoy the view myself, and not show others where I am and what I am doing. Surprisingly, I often see how the desire to show how you are doing is stronger than the desire to enjoy this time.
Conclusion
I will express my opinion on all three stories, and in the comments I would like to hear your thoughts.
# 1. I really like the wording that our rights end where the rights of others begin, but it is symmetrical: the rights of others also end where ours begin. But then a paradox emerges: we have the right to silence, other people have the right to have a telephone conversation about anything or watch a series in a public place without speakers. It would seem a stalemate, if not for one 'but'. Staying in silence, we do not violate the rights of other people, and the music on the tablet or a non-urgent telephone conversation for a trip can violate ours. Here, of course, one can argue that then communication in a cafe can interfere with someone. But it seems to me that people often come to a cafe to chat.
# 2. In the presence of a bunch of silent ways of communication in the modern world, a telephone conversation, if a place in public transport, is only in case of emergency. The entire salon should not listen to how you are doing.
No. 3. Unfortunately, virtual communication sometimes becomes more important than real, and this trend saddens me. I like a good practice when meeting with friends in person, to switch the smartphone to vibration mode and focus on communicating with each other. In the end, every year each of us has less free time, and such meetings are much less frequent. Well, and a smartphone… a smartphone is always with you, and you can always find time for another photo in Instagram or a message in Facebook.